jean's un resolutions for 2012

being an ornery person means you don't make New Year's resolutions.

Hello, it is jean. The person who never capitalizes her name. I do this for personal reasons and not because of e.e. cummings, whom I admire greatly. Nobody is ever going to learn why I do this because I DO have a modicum of privacy, even though I do share my life here with you often. Which I pronounce "offin", not OFT-en, just so you know.
Today I am home alone in the sense that Jim is not here. So I picked that image above, instead. It was either that or Edvard Munch's The Scream, which I do adore. Anyway. Nobody is reading this so it doesn't matter in the long run.

the cool thing I wonder is how many people have used these two images on the same post  in one entry over the years. It's so obvious  it's what we call a "gimmee".
But onward!
Therefore, while  I am busy taking care of the kids of course, I do have a bit of free time. So  I decided to make some 2012 un resolutions. First I looked up images for the word unresolution and got stopped in my tracks  by google for a while because google corrected me and asked me "do you mean un resolutions "?  So I said to myself, OK. I hit on images for un resolutions and  got mired  in a mass of United Nations Resolutions photos and a lot of politics, people signing papers, and political cartoons, none of which I identified with personally, although that was interesting. I don't discuss politics online.  I figure if I keep politics out of it, no will realize what a complete dolt I am about politics, even though my minor in college was political science. Plus I hate alienating people, and there is nothing more divisive that politics online. So I don't go there. Everyone knows I am Catholic but I do not care if YOU are, so that solves the religion problem and discussing that online. Everyone knows I am a vegetarian, but I don't care if YOU are, nor do I care that I am.

My big interests  are located elsewhere, so here we go with my un resolutions  for 2012.

1) I un resolve to stop not doing what I love. Have I got this right? Let me think a second. If I add that I have ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)  does that affect how this whole list will go? And what if I am just being difficult  about having ODD?  And maybe saying I have it, because I don't have it, or because I actually DO have it?  Boy, this is harder that I thought.

2) I un resolve to not stop obsessing over question number one. This could help, but what if I have OCD, and am just pretending to un resolve to stop obsessing, or not obsessing , over question number one??? And did that require three question marks??? And why do I always wave goodbye with my right hand, even when I have to swivel around and contort my body into massively awkward positions to accomplish this, and even though I am incredibly proud of being left handed?    ???

3) Is this microphone on?  I un resolve to not laugh. OK. good. THIS ONE I NAILED! I think.

4) I un resolve to not let go of my fascination with whether I am "fat", "thin" or "just right". I think the Goldilocks "just right" syndrome  has a bunch of people in its clutches and I need to get some perspective on that.

5) I un resolve to not let go of my trouble with my frizzy hair. Vanity, thy name is jean. Et tu,
e.e. cummings?

6) I un resolve to not get all caught up in thinking about that fantastically reviewed movie I want to see most, RIGHT NOW!!!,  and in wishing I looked like that girl in it, Rooney Mara: "The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo", and in trying to get another tattoo to slavishly emulate her in an obvious attempt to finally be a cool person for once in my life. And in considering going back on  my un resolution to not obsess about my hair, and change it completely, and to get a bunch more piercings.

now really, I ask you, in all seriousness, is she not ubercool? And she is a computer genius. I myself need spell check just to make sure I spell genius correctly.

well I have to go, as I must give a bawwwwwth to one of us here, and after that, prepare his ablutions.

Oh , final  un resolution for 2012:

7) I un resolve to stop my endless fascination with interesting and long words, and in trying to practice my Chaucerian accent on a daily basis, as  if  you think about it, no one really knows HOW they pronounced Middle English unless he or she has eaten a LOT of yogurt and lived a really really long time.

dear readers, thanks for not reading this. --jean